Depression – Lost At Sea

Some of the most challenging issues surrounding depression are empathy and understanding from those that do not suffer from the disease and from those that prescribe treatment. For the sufferer, it is impossible to explain the constant psychological exasperation and physical anguish associated with depression. It’s hard to find adequate words to describe the endless war that rages within, but some authors and bloggers get close.  

Heather B. Armstrong

Today I heard a fantastic definition for depression, and It comes from Heather B. Armstrong’s book “The Valedictorian of Being Dead: The True Story of Dying Ten Times to Live.” Please forgive my paraphrasing. I heard the quote while driving and couldn’t record it correctly.

Depression is like being stranded in the middle of the ocean without a raft or life vest. You tread water trying to stay afloat, but sooner or later you get too tired to keep treading water.

For me, her quote captures all of my feelings about depression: the hopelessness, the endless torment, the inevitability of getting tired and losing and then floating back up to start all over again. The only part I would have added to her fantastic quote would be; “. . . and there is no hope of ending; death is not an option”. Interestingly, she noted that taking her own life was never an option or even a consideration. Hence her decision to undertake such a radical therapy option.

Suicide No – Brain Death Yes?

Taking my own life is never an option, but I doubt that I would try the treatment suggested in her book. I agree with the basic premise, but I’m pretty sure (read my story for a few more details) my near-death experiences made my depression worse. However, my “brain death” events (if that’s a thing) were traumatic, and I’m not 100% sure that I was completely brain-dead during the events. Maybe under more controlled circumstances, the process is healing? As she said; “it’s like restarting a computer to fix an issue.” Her story is very compelling, and I highly recommend the book. I’m about 1/3 way through. I read dreadfully slow, lol . . .

This topic probably sounds extreme or even ridiculous to someone who has never suffered from chronic depression. However, I’ve been there, I’ve been on that razor’s edge of sanity when you’re willing to try almost anything to feel “normal” again when the fight for sanity feels more like a fight for life or death. What if stopping and restarting our brain is the answer? What if that’s the cure!? I will continue to follow her story with engaged interest.

Research About Depression

Warning: possible rant ahead!

The more I read about depression, the less I know, yet somehow, it’s still comforting to read the countless articles and studies published by “experts.” Most of the data or opinions published on the subject are crap and usually lead to a new drug for some nameless company to make a buttload of money. I feel that we need a new breed of “experts” to help fill the information void about depression. Someone less concerned with profits and more concerned with improving the quality of life for those of us that suffer. I would like to see real-world results. Let’s create a panel of doctors and scientists that suffer from chronic depression, and have them research the disease. Maybe, just perhaps, we might end up with a treatment that makes sense? Well, I can dream, can’t I?

As always, sending out my love and support with zero judgment.