DEPRESSION IS A DISEASE WITHOUT A CURE

So often I read or hear about a cure for depression. Those of us that suffer from the disease know better. There are treatment options, but there is no cure for depression. I’ve used this analogy before, but it is similar to alcoholism. You can treat alcoholism, people can learn to avoid alcohol for the rest of their lives, but they have to fight the urges. The disease of alcoholism never goes away. Depression is very similar with one glaring difference; we never chose to be depressed. We never engaged with the disease. The disease found us and has become a part of us without our consent.

DEPRESSION IS SPOONS

Yes, this is ridiculous, but the analogy seems to help some people understand the disease, so here is the link: (Read the Depression Spoon Theory). Hey, if it helps people understand depression and empathize with those that suffer, I’m all for it. I hate the spoon analogy because spoons are fairly harmless. I would have used rusty knives. Haha.

DEPRESSION IS A MONSTER

For me, depression is a faceless monster. I am constantly fighting the monster for my right to be happy and to enjoy life. I can’t remember a single day where I didn’t have to fight to be happy or to enjoy the day’s activities. The monster never tires and the fight feels eternal. Some days the monster wins and other days I win, but there is always a battle. It is so easy to give in and let the monster win. The fight is exhausting. Some days I’m so tired I can barely summon the energy to get out of bed.

I remember waking up in Orlando a few years ago and feeling too exhausted to get out of bed. Now understand, I LOVE DISNEY. No seriously, I am a crazy person when it comes to Disney and the Harry Potter stuff in Orlando. So here I was, on a vacation that I saved up for months to be on, and I couldn’t summon the energy to enjoy it? In this instant, I got so mad at my depression that I fought through it and forced myself to enjoy the day. However, if I’m honest, I didn’t really enjoy the day. I’m glad that I went out and participated in the day, but I didn’t really enjoy it. Try to imagine that for a minute. Imagine a hobby or activity that you enjoy above all others and having something steal that from you? And there’s nothing you can do about it? Even when you try!? That is depression.

WHAT IS THE MONSTER?

We use the term depression, but what is it? I talk a LOT about ‘the monster’ on this website. The monster is both genetic and environmental. Most of us are born with a predisposition towards depression, some are taught depressive behavior through traumatic events, and for some of the very unlucky, we enjoy a lethal combination of both. For me, it is both. My mother and many on her side of the family suffer from depression. In addition, some of my life events triggered a sort of Post Traumatic Stress reaction to further enhance my depression. It is sort of like being on fire and having someone douse you with oil to put out the flames. The flames don’t go out and begin to burn even hotter than better.

Please understand – WE DO NOT ENJOY BEING DEPRESSED. Seriously, we hate it with the passion of a 1000 firey suns (stole that from one of my favorite movies). Depression is not a choice. If we could choose, we (all of us that suffer) would choose not to be depressed. If you can wrap your head around that concept, you might begin to understand this horrible disease.

TAMING THE MONSTER

There are many ways to fight or calm the monster. Some depression treatment options are designed to fight the disease, and other options can be used to minimize the symptoms. Both approaches are valid and effective. Personally, I prefer to calm the disease. All of my attempts at directly fighting the monster just seem to piss it off, lol… For me, calming the symptoms has been my answer for a happier and more normal life. The disease will still claim its fair share of days, but I win more than I lose. That seems to be the secret to my happiness.

If I’m honest, I’m hard to live with when I’m losing the fight, but I can’t seem to change that. I doubt anyone that suffers from depression can effectively control how they act towards others when they are losing their fight with the disease. Be patient with those that suffer. They want to be happy. They desperately want to feel normal. With all of their heart, they hate hurting those that love them.

INTERESTING SIDE NOTE

If you look at the picture at the top of the page, what is your first impression? Most of my friends would say; ‘dark and lonely’ or ‘dark and depressing’. For me, the picture is peaceful and calming. I could take a long dreamy nap in those woods. I’m not sure what that says about depression, but I thought it was an interesting observation. Could you sleep peacefully in those woods?